You're probably upside down right now. Your mom is doing yoga and at this very moment she's probably punjabing into a full round-off, or whatever they call those moves. She says you like it but I don't know if that's true. Kick three times if you hate it. Or just kick once. Basically, just kick. She's dying to feel you moving around in there. You were pretty active during your ultrasound and while I'm no expert I do believe you were practicing a golf swing. Smart. Practice is the name of the game. Well, that's not true. It's called golf. Practice is how you become good at golf. Or other things. Any things, technically.
Just don't decide to become good at something dumb, ok? I'll always have your back but it'll be easier on your old man if you don't decide you want to dedicate your life to interpretive dance. But I'll give you a break for now as it's probably more important that you focus on the big things you have ahead of you. Like developing eyeballs, a brain, two nostrils...
So while you develop, your mother and I will be developing this blog. I'll probably write more than she does because I've always written more than she has. She did have a blog back when it was cool, though. It's sort of why we got together, actually. It's a long story and I don't even know if you have working ears yet so I won't bore you. Other astute individuals might point out that you won't be able to read this from the womb either, but what do they know with their stupid three quarter length white lab coats, fancy degrees, and stupid haircuts?
On your behalf I shall now share the early bounty of onesies we've received in anticipation of your arrival. Let this serve as a warning to those who were considering a purchase. The bar has been raised. You'll need to step your game up.
As always, a bit of advice on the way out...
Hold doors for broads.
~ Your Dad
(Probably don't call them broads either, but you know what I mean)
((Or you will once you're grown up))
(((Don't grow up too fast, by the way. Grow the proper speed. We have high ceilings but acromegaly is not all it's cracked up to be)))
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