Ok, that title may seem dramatic, but how is it that you are already more than six weeks old? Weren't you just born, helpless and kicking imaginary ninjas under the sun lamp meant to cure you of your slightly yellow hue? It sure seems like it, but at the same time, you have gone through a hundred little metamorphoses. Your little infant face is so different every day, and yet still a little carbon copy of your daddy.
You already know how to smile, the sight of which melts my heart into a puddle. Refuse to nap, even though I know you are so tired and that staying awake will throw off your tenuous sleep/wake schedule? Just throw me one of those open-mouthed gummy grins, and I'll gladly snuggle you against me until you drift into slumber. And then stay there, because who wants to unsnuggle a warm sleepy baby? And your snuggling is seriously other level. You squirm your entire body into mine, nuzzling your face under my chin so that you are breathing your magical breath right into my neck. I am consumed with your sweet baby smell and it is the closest thing to heaven I've ever experienced.
You make the funniest noises when you sleep. These can vary from your very unsubtle poop-making grunts and groans, to the softest, gentlest high pitched sighing of satisfaction that you are really just that cozy and content. I look at you and swear I have never been that comfortable or as deeply asleep as you are.
Your awake time is so much more alert now. You are fascinated by lights and shadows. The painting above the couch in the living room is your favorite. I'm not sure what you are seeing when you look at it, but your eyes get lost in there, as if in search for the beginning and end of every brush stroke. You love music, so much so that it will never be the way to get you to sleep. It is a reason to stay awake, to listen intently and bop along with it. You were born with rhythm. Too early yet to see if it's an innate musicality or if you'll have the most wicked white man shuffle in town, but either way, it seems to make you happy.
All this is to say, this love story is only just beginning. The more I discover you, the deeper I fall. You are the greatest conductor of love. Not only do I love you fiercely, but you inspire deeper love for those around us. Your father holds you and makes you giggle, or soothes you when you're having a moment, and my heart is filled with even more love for him. When your grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins come to visit you, and anxiously take turns holding you, they are newly precious to me, because they are all important limbs in your family tree. I see the qualities I love in them and what I imagine you will learn from each of them. It's contagious, this love. Thank you for letting me see the world through you. It's such a gift.
Love, Mama
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